B-what? B-woods!

Last summer, I began a quite extensive project.  Turning all of my high school t-shirts into a quilt!  I sewed the face of the quilt together, but I have to give a HUGE thank you to my sweet mother who quilted the front and back together and put on the binding!

This project was definitely a trip down memory lane...I was so involved in so many different activities, my quilt is big enough to fit on a full-sized bed!  It was so fun to reminisce about each shirt, and the history behind it.

Step 1:  Cut each t-shirt into a square or rectangle

Step 2:  Create a map to fit all of the pieces together.  Color-code to make sure that two pieces of the same color are not next to each other

Step 3:  Lay out the pieces according to the map, and sew together!

Step 4:  Add a layer of batting between the t-shirts and the backing, and pin together

Step 5:  Quilt along the seams, and add the binding.  The finished product:

This was such a fun and meaningful project to work on!  I am so excited to start my William & Mary blanket next! :)

Is this real life??

This Lou is spending her summer in the Lou!  (see what I did there?)  Somehow I've already been back for two and a half weeks and it has just flown by!  So big news item #1....

We have a date for our wedding!!!  June 5, 2015.  More details to come soon - hopefully we'll have a website up in the next week or so.  Okay now that that's out of the way, big news item #2...

I'm officially an intern!!!  I'm doing my counseling internship at ALIVE (Alternatives to Living in Violent Environments), a counseling non-profit dedicated to serving and providing resources to victims of intimate-partner violence.  I am also seeing clients at Covenant, which makes for a nice balance of the types of cases I'll be seeing.  Which leads to big news item #3....

I saw my first client this past week!!!  I was absolutely terrified of my meeting with my first client.  What if I didn't know what to say?  What if we found nothing to talk about for the entire 50 minutes that I was in the room with her?  And God was so good, and brought me through that fear - and now I am so excited to sit in the room with clients.  I often compare it to the first time I answered the crisis hotline at ALIVE.  I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to help the person on the other end of the phone, and was legitimately shaking when I picked up the phone to say:
     "Alive; this is Sarah."
     "Hi Sarah, I'd like to reschedule my appointment for next week?"
     Instant sigh of relief.
It is so easy to psych-oneself out of these risky situations.  But in reality, it is just a conversation.  And I know I will need to continually remind myself of that, but for now, I am so excited to explore this field that I feel so called into.

Craftiness

Sometimes I remember that I'm crafty and I go on huge spurts of DIY projects.  You'd think that the massive piles of scrapbooks I have in my parents basement would be enough to remind me more often...but apparently not.  The past few months have been one of those spurts of activity - starting around Christmastime....so here are some pictures of what I have been up to!

DIY Christmas Ornament (from Pinterest)

DIY Christmas Ornament (from Pinterest - it's so easy to make your own glittered ornaments!)

Hot Chocolate cupcakes

Mini Baked-Brie roll-ups (also from Pinterest - sensing a theme here?)

Homemade Tres Leches cake!

Eric's Valentine's Day gift

I tied little notes about why I love him to Lindt truffles

Change is a Slow but Beautiful Process

One year ago, I wrote this as a potential blog post.  At the time, I thought it was too vulnerable to actually post, so I saved it to a word document and have kept it on my desktop.  While it may still be too vulnerable (it's certainly more vulnerable than I usually am on this blog!), I thought I would take the risk and post it today:

Learning to be Vulnerable – 03/12/2013

Somewhere along the way, I learned the safest place to keep my emotions was deep inside, where no one could see them.  Where no one could tell me that they were wrong, bad, or sinful.  Where I could pretend (rather convincingly) that they didn’t exist.  And so I built up tall, thick walls to protect my heart.  I guess it was more fragile than I realized.  I thought I was getting tougher, stronger; really, I was just building up more armor.

And now I’m at a place in my life where I want to tear down those walls.  But I’m finding that it’s not as easy as I had anticipated.  It was so easy and natural to build them up, but to knock them down…it’s like peeling off a really stubborn scab – you bleed in the process.  I want to change, I just don’t know how.  I don’t want to carry around these defenses anymore.  I want to know how I feel in the moment, instead of waiting for the jumble of emotions to hit me weeks later, like it usually does.  I’m scared of going through life alone behind my walls.  I want to let people in.  I just don’t know how.

I am in such a different place now.  Looking back over the past year, I am amazed at the growth I see...part of it is from going through seminary, part of it is from being in counseling, and a huge part of it is divine transformation.  I feel much more vividly than I did, and I as a result, I am much more of a mess.  I cry more, am sad more, but my smiles are also so much brighter, and I feel real.  No, I do not have it all together, but I am experiencing life at a much deeper level.  Granted, those walls aren't completely destroyed - everyone needs some level of protection around their hearts - but I am slowly learning how to be real with people.  I am not always okay, and not only is that okay, but it is one of the most beautiful things to have someone meet me in the midst of that not-okayness.  I feel like I still have so much to learn about myself, but I also love the slow but beautiful change I see.

bid my anxious fears goodbye

Let it Go

I am kind of obsessed with this song.  Recently, just about every movie I have seen has spoken to me on a deeper level - I blame being in a counseling program - but that is a discussion for a different day.  For now, just enjoy Idina Menzel getting to be a Disney princess! :)

Goodbye 2013

It is so hard for me to believe that we are yet again at the end of another year.  If you ask me, 2013 went by way too fast - it is so hard for me to remember everything that happened!  As we look forward into the new year, it is common to make resolutions - lose weight, go gluten-free, exercise more, get that bigger bonus, etc.  I think for me my resolution is less about how I want my life to change, and more about how I want to see myself grow.  Before I left for the semester, my counselor asked me to keep dreaming over the break about the person that I want to become.  And so, I've thought a lot about the woman that I want to be.  I know I say this all the time, but I want to be who I was made to be - not afraid of what the future holds.  As Elrond says to Aragorn in Return of the King, "Put aside the ranger, become who you were born to be."

So as I look back on 2013, I see some incredible growth.  Going through counseling has strengthened my sense of self and taught me that it's okay to feel how I feel - to be who I am.  I feel like I know myself so much better than I did six months ago (and I thought I knew myself well then!).  But I also see areas in which I want to grow and develop more.  I want to continue to develop my patience, though I think that I've learned a lot in that area, especially in the past year.  I want to both embrace and release my anxiety.  Anxiety is not something that I frequently feel, but when I do, it is a very intense and physical experience.  I want to learn to be okay with this - and not feel anxious about the anxiety - but also learn to r e l e a s e.  "Okay, so I feel anxious, now what can I do to let it go and approach this situation with a peaceful heart?"  I find that I work myself up a lot to protect against disappointment and hurt (especially in relationships), and it is so e x h a u s t i n g.  How do I learn to take appropriate and necessary risks in my life without going into emotional overdrive?

So, instead of starting on some sudden, life-changing path in 2014, I want to continue to grow into who God made me to be.  I want to continue to pursue patience, trust in the Lord, and a peaceful heart.  This may not be the traditional new year's resolution, but 2014 brings a sense of new beginnings and fresh starts as I continue to become who I was born to be.

Happy 2014!