"Bad" Emotions

"There is no such thing as a 'bad' emotion.  It's how we handle our emotions that matters."  -- John Gottman, PhD.

Have you ever had a recurring thought that others didn't necessarily agree with? Well, here's mine.
The quote above is in one of my textbooks for my Marriage & Family Counseling class, and I couldn't agree more.  Especially in the Christian community, certain emotions, such as anger, are seen as "bad" because of specific biblical passages (e.g., Matthew 5:22, 1 John 3:15).  And I understand that perspective.  However, we all are sinful people and we cannot will ourselves to not feel emotions such as anger.  Instead of addressing their feelings, people shame themselves for feeling angry, and keep their feelings hidden.  This only lets the emotion fester and twist our hearts.  What is so "wrong" about acknowledging our emotions for what they are and then doing something constructive about them?  Pretending that they don't exist leads only to feelings of guilt and shame when you do discover that they are present in your heart.  And shame is by far the most self-destructive feeling we possess.
What if we were truly honest with ourselves about how we feel?
Just a thought.

All Will Turn to Silver Glass

"End? No the Journey doesn't end here.  Death is just another path; one that we all must take.  The grey rain-curtain of this world rolls back, and all turns to silver glass.  And then you see it!"

"What, Gandalf?  See what?"

"White shores.  And beyond, a far green country, under a swift sunrise!"

Sounds like such a beautiful place.  I can't wait to see you there.

New Steps

As many of you know, the big move to St. Louis (STL) is very quickly approaching.  It is just two days until we begin the big drive.  This time of transition is very strange to me.  A part of me is apprehensive: changing to a new environment is not really my forte.  Another part of me is ready for school to start again - I like the structure a daily routine provides.  With the exception of my abroad travels, this will be the farthest I've been from home without friends or family.  But really, it feels more surreal than anything else.  I'm not really consciously scared or worried, but it doesn't seem like it's really happening (except for the large pile of stuff that has accumulated in our kitchen).
As I get settled and into the swing of things at grad school, I hope to keep you all updated on my adventures and epiphanies through this blog - so keep checking back for updates!

"I thank my God every time I remember you." - Philippians 1:3

Random thought of the day: I love how this phrase (or a variation of this phrase) comes up in so many of the "little letters" in the NT...repetition is a way of demonstrating importance, and as someone who has used this phrase many a time, I appreciate that.

Experiencing Paradise

The Kyle Family Mystery Trip is no longer a mystery!  Upon arrival at Dulles Airport last week, Jessica and I learned that we would be spending a week exploring the Rocky Mountains in Colorado.  I must say, I was quite surprised - I definitely didn't expect to go to the mountains when I had been told to prepare for sand.  As it sunk in, I realized that no mention had been made of visiting family in Colorado, nor had we discussed the implications of the forest fire.  And then I recalled a comment I had made earlier:  "Wouldn't it be funny if you only told us the connecting destination?"  Turns out I was right!  Upon landing in Denver, we received another envelope that contained our itinerary for our trip to the Big Island of Hawai'i!  My parents are so sneaky. :)

Black Sand Beach!

So, after approximately 11 hours of flight, we arrived in Kona, Hawai'i.  Our first day was very laid back, considering it was 7:30pm EDT when we arrived (1:30 HAST), and of course we ended the day with an episode of LOST.  Our first official day on the island (Sunday) we spent exploring the Kohala district (where we were staying), seeing sights like the Waipi'o Valley, the statue of Kamehameha I, and Pulolu Valley.  Monday was our first big adventure day, driving from the Kohala district along the north coast, and ending in Hilo.  This was definitely the day of rainforest and waterfalls.  Our first stop was the beautiful and dramatic landscape at Laupahoehoe Beach Point, where a tsunami destroyed the local school in 1946.  We then traveled around the coast to the Akaka State Falls Park, home of two waterfalls, the Kahuna Falls and the Akaka Falls.  Next stop:  the Hawai'i Tropical Botanical Gardens!  This absolutely beautiful juxtaposition of jungle and bay was well worth the numerous mosquito bites!  In the city of Hilo, we stopped by Rainbow Falls, and we ended our expedition with the black sand beach at Honoli'i Beach Park!

Onomea Falls in the Botanical Gardens

Tuesday, we traveled south along the coast of the Big Island to the Kona district.  We began our day at the Pu'uhonua O Honaunau National Historical Park, a culture-center of sorts.  This park holds a number of re-constructed buildings, where the Polynesian royalty once lived.  In some ways, its very reminiscent of Jamestown and Colonial Williamsburg.  We continued our journey northward to Hula Daddy Coffee Plantation in Holualoa.  Coffee is one of the main crops in the Kona district, and there are many plantations that offer tours and free tastings of their coffee.  Our last stop of the day was at Honokohau Bay, a frequent resting place for sea turtles!  Yet another check on the Hawai'i bucket list!
Wednesday was definitely a smorgasbord day.  We started off at Kealakekua Bay, in the hopes of seeing spinner dolphins.  Unfortunately, this was one of the items that did not get checked off of our bucket list. :(  We then traveled into Kailua-Kona, the most touristy town on the island for some shopping and lunch.  We hit the beach for about an hour, but all of the beach parks closed early for the Fourth of July.

Kilauea Caldera

Although Wednesday was rather uneventful, Thursday was the most jam-packed day of our trip!  Leaving early in the morning from our condo, we drove for three hours south around the coast (passing the southern-most point in the US!) to the Hawai'i Volcanoes National Park.  Kilauea Caldera, the most active volano in the world, is the main attraction here, although there are many other craters to be seen and hikes to explore.  After exploring the Thurston Lava Tube (yes, you can actually walk inside of a lava tube!!), we embarked on a 4-mile hike across the Kilauea Iki Crater.  The crater itself is 1.2 miles in diameter, and last erupted in 1959.  I guess a crater that has been dormant for 50 years is fairly safe!  There are trails that lead you across the Kilauea Caldera as well, but the current activity of the Halema'uma'u Crater (see photo on left) has closed these trails indefinitely.  Hiking the Kilauea Iki Trail was definitely a highlight for our whole family.  How many people can say that they've walked across a volcano?!  We ended our tour of the national park with a drive down Chain of Craters Road, which abruptly ends in a lava flow.  This road used to continue along the southern coast in the Ka'u and Puna districts, but lava flows from the 1980s through today have so consistently blocked the road, that the national park service has stopped trying to clear it.

Chain of Craters Road

Our final day on the Big Island was a perfect way to end the trip.  We started the day with a trip to Hapuna Beach, a white sands beach close to our condo.  While the beach and water were absolutely beautiful, the wind was insane!  It felt like a sandstorm!  Needless to say, we did not stay too long, and had to empty sand out of all of our belongings!  We ended the day with a sunset dinner cruise along the Kohala coast - absolutely beautiful! :)
I can't believe that we packed so much into just six days!  The big island is definitely one of the most beautiful (and diverse!) places that I've visited, and I would love to go back both to this island and to the other Hawaiian islands some day.  We left only three things on our Hawai'i bucket list unchecked (seeing a green sand beach, seeing dolphins, and seeing a wild donkey - yes those are very common in Hawai'i...they have their own crossing signs and everything!), which I would say means we did pretty well!  Aloha Hawai'i!  Mahalo.

Sunset Dinner Cruise - a perfect ending to our trip!

Becoming a 'Real Person"

Thoroughly Modern Millie

Wow...it has been a long time since I last posted - almost a year!  Since it has been so long, I thought I would do a little catch-up work, and hopefully be a better poster in the future!
This last year at William & Mary has been by far my favorite.  As I went through a year of "lasts," I realized just how blessed I have been over the last four years.  I cherish so many of these last moments - especially my last performances and RUF senior night.  I honestly think I cried more in the last six months than I have in the last four years put together!  It was such a joy for me to be able to perform with the Sinfonicron Light Opera Company and Orchesis Modern Dance Company during my last year at William & Mary.  I am very much aware that those performances may have been my last, and I feel so blessed that I had those final opportunities to do something that I love.  As for RUF senior night - I could not be more thankful for the family that I have there.  As I have said many times before, "you don't realize what you had until it's gone" - and this is definitely how I felt about RUF once I went abroad.  You all have been such a loving and supportive net for me - and I miss you all already.

RUF Seniors & Staff 2012

This past semester, I was also able to participate in a psychology practicum as part of my academic studies.  One of the best experiences of my life!  Working with CDR (Child Development Resources) opened my eyes to the needs of the community around me, and how important service really is.  Actually, working at CDR completely redefined my career goals; while I still want to pursue a career in counseling, my main focus in now families and communities - what the psychology world would call "community psychology."

Speaking of the future, I'M GOING TO GRAD SCHOOL!  Barring any major life change between now and August, I will be attending Covenant Theological Seminary in St. Louis, Missouri to pursue a Master of Arts degree in Counseling.  I feel so privileged to have this opportunity ahead of me - it is a miracle that I am going to graduate school at all, and let me tell you, it was a long road to get here.  As many of you know, my original plan was to pursue a PhD in Counseling/Clinical Psychology.  After applying to 11 programs, and not being admitted to any, I began to wonder, "what if all these plans I've made for myself aren't what I am supposed to be doing?"  Talk about a reality check!  So I decided to go back to the original plan - the one I had felt called to before any of my academic pride set in - and apply to seminary programs.  Needless to say, April is not the ideal time to do grad school applications - its past all of the deadlines!  Nevertheless, I was accepted into two programs, and am now heading to St. Louis in August. :)
So as I take on this new adventure of becoming a "real person," I hope to be able to continue this blog and share my experiences with you!  I have plenty of things to figure out already:  finding an apartment (and roommate(s)), finding a job close to campus, registering for classes, not to mention paying for grad school!  Much love to you all, and I'll be in touch! :)

The End of an Era

‎"There are no more horcruxes. It's just you and me. Neither can live while the other survives, and one of us is about to leave for good." -- Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

It blows my mind that the Harry Potter generation is over.  I remember when the first book came out - I was nine, and we read it as a class in 4th grade.  No one could pronounce Hermione's name correctly (something J.K. Rowling made fun of in Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire), but we were all completely blown away by the magic of Rowling's storytelling.  Jessica and I sped through Chamber of Secrets and Prisoner of Azkaban (Books 2 & 3), and could not wait for the next books to come out.  From then on, we always pre-ordered our books on Amazon, and it never took me more than a couple days to read each new book (including Book 4 which we read right after our move to Virginia, without any furniture in the house!).  I feel like readers of my generation grew up with Harry Potter - even to the point where I was 17 when Deathly Hallows (Book 7) was released and all of the characters were 17.  Each book in Rowling's series is increasingly mature, complex, and intense -- something I could appreciate as a reader who was also maturing and growing up.
The Harry Potter films brought in a completely different view of the books.  While I enjoy the movies, I definitely believe the books present a more complex plot and deeper character development.  Granted, its hard to turn 1000+ page books into movies of an acceptable length, so I understand why a lot of the nonessential plot points and details were left out of the movies.  After seeing the final installment, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows part 2, last night, I thought they wrapped up their shortened storyline very well.  All the same, it was a very surreal experience to see the last movie.  Just like with the release of the Book 7, it seemed so, well, final.  Unlike the majority of the Harry Potter fans today, I grew up with the characters both through the book series and the films.  It's sad to see the end of this phase in our lives -- it's truly the end of an era.

Monroe Research Week Four - Halfway There!

(copied from http://upperclassmonroe.blogs.wm.edu/author/sckyle/)

As the end of week 4 quickly approaches, it occurs to me that I am over halfway through my 7 week timeline!  After the remainder of today’s testing, I will have had 24 participants.  While I was originally hoping to recruit 40 participants, I will be happy if I can pass 30!  Recruiting has been much more difficult than I had originally expected.  I’ve flyered the campus dorms twice, send emails to the Monroe and Research listservs, and even teamed up with two Psychology professors who agreed to offer their students extra credit if they participated in my study!  Talk about a great incentive (in addition to my own participation reward of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream)!  My advice to anyone that hopes to research on human subjects:  start recruiting immediately after receiving approval from the PHSC.  Teaming up with professors is a great way to have easy access to students, but it definitely helps to talk with them as early as possible.  Tracking down professors in the summer can be challenging:  they flit from their classroom to their lab, and are very hard to catch in their office!
So far, I have avoided any major potholes in my methodology.  However, I have had to change the test conditions a bit.  Instead of using video chat as the third communication option, the participants now use a voice chat (like Skype or Google Voice).  It turns out that not many students seem to actively use video chat, and so we were having trouble finding a way around this.  Maybe my time abroad last semester made me more reliant on the use of video chat than the average student, but I definitely thought it was a more common form of communication!  Google Voice has turned out to be a wonderful tool for this project.  Anyone with a Google Account (i.e. any William & Mary student since our WMApps is run through Google) can use this tool to call any phone in the US for free from their computer.  How awesome is that?  I feel like I am a walking advertisement for Google Voice!  With the use of this tool, participants can be put in a “Skype-like” setting without having to have a friend online at the same time.  It’s brilliant!
Looking forward, I have one more week of testing left, and then I start the long, tedious process of converting my videotapes to DVD.  Thank goodness I have the awesome Media Center to help me!  From there, I’ll run data analysis and then sit down to the daunting task of writing up my paper.  Even though I’m past the halfway point, I feel like there is still so much to accomplish!