Breath of Heaven

Here we are on yet another December 7.  On this day, six years ago (wow has it really been that long?), I met my first encounter with adult grief.  I think it changed me much more than I even thought at the time.  I was sad, not necessarily for me, but for others.  It was the first time that I really felt my heart go out to someone - that I wanted to heal someone else of their hurts.  But, also, looking back maybe I was too focused on others.  I did not learn how to grieve well, and this continues to be an area in which I struggle.  I still vividly remember hearing the news.   I had been to see her the night before, and the next day our school counselor told us what had happened.  I remember feeling like I was no longer in control of my body.  I abruptly stood up (I can still see the counselor's look of surprise), and started
r u n n i n g out of the room.  I was so thankful for my dear friend, who legitimately caught me and just held me until my mind and body were back in sync.  As someone who prides herself on her calm reactions, this was a completely disorienting experience.  I felt so helpless and powerless.

So today I'm thinking of you, Nicole.  How brave you were, and how loving.  You laughed and delighted in the Lord with such mature faith for your young age.  How I would have loved to see you grow up into the mature, smart, talented, and beautiful 18-year old you would be today.  You are such an inspiration to me.

I also wanted to post another one of my favorite Christmas songs.  I last posted one about Joseph's experience, and this one is about Mary's.  However, I think it also applies to the grieving heart, which is something I've been thinking a lot about today.