Wednesday, October 17, 2012

it's like my ipod's stuck on replay, replay

For some reason unbeknownst to me (probably a combination of reasons, actually), I've been feeling anxious lately.  Anxiety is not a feeling that I commonly experience, so it really grabs my attention.  I could go into all of the reasons why I think I'm feeling anxious:  school, the future, being in a new place, etc. but it's late, and those aren't really the reasons I sat down to write tonight.
Keeping all of that in mind, quick shift in gears.  I tend to get songs stuck in my head on a rather frequent basis.  Sometimes they stay for a couple of hours, sometimes days.  Most of the time, it just has to do with what has been playing on the radio, or at work (when I was working retail), or recently on my ipod.  But then there are other times that a song will just come into my head for absolutely no reason - I haven't listened to it in months!  I have to believe that these aren't just coincidences, especially since they usually have to do with things that are really weighing on my heart.  Well, this week, a throwback to my middle school/early high school years has been playing in my head - and I have to believe that it's in response to the anxiety I've been feeling:


"Lord, I don't know where all this is going
Or how it all works out
Lead me to peace that is past understanding
A peace beyond all doubt"
- Newsboys

I've known that my head is 70% filled with useless movie quotes and song lyrics for a while (trust me, my sister and I can basically recite every Lord of the Rings movie).  But I never thought that this seemingly wasted space would actually prove to be a blessing.  More than once, it's provided me with so much comfort - expressing feelings that I can't find the words to say.  This week has just been one of those weeks where I actually appreciate the "wasted space."

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